shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
