ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
