Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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