he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
