Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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