They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
