remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
