His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
