New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize