so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
