Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I look better un-naked...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My bed smells like the plague
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
