508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just want to make out with him forever
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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