Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
