i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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