What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
