wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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