We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
