i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
