Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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