Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
