At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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