good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
