you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
