I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
