Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
