This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
