Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
