i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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