True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
