I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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