So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
