im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
