I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
