That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
