The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
