So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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