She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
