there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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