so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
