Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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