ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
