Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
