My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
