I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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