is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
