is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
