He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
