Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
