I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
