Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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