I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
