So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
