Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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