We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
